Discipline

 “If we do not discipline ourselves the world will do it for us.”

― William Feather

It is indeed easy to be permissive, and let our children grow at their speed, allow them to "find themselves," discover their place in society, their role among their peers.  We want to be their friends.  We want them to accept us as their equal.  We want to foster good communication with our children, but unfortunately, what often happens is that we accept their level of casual, peer-approved talk, and by so doing, encourage it.  Instead of "raising" our children, we become their complicitors, their enablers.  We don't dare stand up to them out of fear of alienating them.  We don't dare enforce the rules at home for fear of turning them off, or having them rebel.  So we stand by meekly, watching them struggle with hormones and peer pressure, acquiescing to their demands, floundering under their tantrums, or smiling benignly at the inevitability of poor behavior.  TV shows abound with rude behavior.  We take it all in stride, and there's the rub.

Children don't grow themselves.  Like a sapling that will grow in the direction of the strongest wind, so will our children.