Happiness

"Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions; it is governed by our mental attitude."

Dale Carnegie

The new year is still in its infancy, and resolutions abound. They are all sincere, heartfelt and enthusiastic promises, and they are almost universally abandoned.

A resolution is a declaration, a decision, a stated commitment to get something accomplished. All resolutions require practice, from committing to an exercise program to losing weight. Practicing keeping one's word (commitment, resolution) is not easy, because, had it been easy, it would not be a recurring theme year after year.

What about happiness? Can one make a commitment to be happy? Yes.

"But," you protest, "you don't understand, I've got stress, my husband drinks, I lost my job, my car is old and I can't replace it, my boss is a shrew, and I'm all alone and have no friends."

Yes, and you can commit to being happy.

Happiness is not a giddy state, fun and games, staying up drinking to the wee hours of the morning. Happiness is not winning the lottery (yes, I know, money helps). Happiness is not more sex or different sex, or suddenly losing 100 lbs and being the envy of all you see. Happiness is acceptance. And this, too, is a skill that requires practice. How can you accept dire circumstances such as the ones alluded to above? The answer is simple: simply accept.

Accepting your circumstances does not mean liking them. It does not mean being content with them. It means recognizing them, acknowledging them as part of the fiber of your life. Your teenager is giving you trouble? If you don't take the first step to acknowledge that situation, you can take no action to solve it. If you do not acknowledge the situation and face it square on, it is tantamount to burying your head in the sand, and ignoring it. What does that have to do with happiness? Plenty. By acknowledging your circumstances, you are dealing with reality. By acknowledging your circumstances, you empower yourself to focus on solutions. And by acknowledging your circumstances, you stand a better chance of separating what is yours from what is not, meaning that, in the scenario of your difficult teenager, you can take measures to deal with his behavior. You can also take the important steps of not taking it personally. Your job is to live an ethical life and do your best. The results will happen as they happen. In other words, if it's raining, let it rain.