Temptation

“Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it.”

― Thomas Jefferson 

This is a familiar theme, reproduced throughout the ages, that of bypassing instant gratification for the longer-term success.  The theme appears in many settings, from losing weight to premarital sex.  On this, the eve of the new year, resolutions are merrily promised, sincerely adopted, and enthusiastically pursued, until the ogre of the work involved shows its ugly head.  All forms of resolutions are then cast aside as the coats of winter on a sunny day.  No one wants the toil involved in working through to a longer-term goal.  No one wants the deprivation involved.  And yet, as the quote above implies, before you break your resolutions in favor of a piece of chocolate or other inadvisable item, consider whether that action would move you toward your goal or create more pain than it is worth.

Faith is not for the Fainthearted

Today is Christmas Day.  After the presents and crumpled paper, spiced egg nog and baked ham, one might settle down and remember that the story of Christmas is a story of faith.  Christmas is when the world celebrates the birth of Christ, the one who would save humankind from itself.  It is a reverent day.  The presents that we give each other are reminiscent of the gifts from the three kings, though their gifts were much more sober and meaning-ful (full of meaning) for the newborn infant.  We do not spend much time nowadays remembering our purpose.  Indeed, having faith that two thousand years ago a messiah was born is difficult in itself.  It requires a leap of thinking and feeling.  It requires trust that the stories we have been told are true, that the infant that escaped Herrod's wrath is indeed worthy of our devotion, even while we try with all our might to camouflage our deeper feelings with flights of fancy, with parties and silliness that have very little to do with the occasion. 

Success

“The test of success is not what you do when you are on top. Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.”

― George S. Patton

I am fascinated by stories of overnight success.  You know the kind - you go about your business, then one day, pouf! a media blitz about someone you never heard anything about.  The chorus of adulation, the interviews, films, commercials, shoes with their name, a line of clothing, perfume.  How did that happen? Why all the focus suddenly on this individual? What's so great about that person? 

Ah, yes, the overnight success story.  As a public, we are presented with the final picture, the finished canvas, all framed and shiny with a nice bow on it.  What we do not get is the background story.  How long has that person struggled to be great? How many auditions did he or she attempt? How many sleepless nights? How many hungry days were spent at the easel? How many cold and dreary and lonely afternoons and nights were spent in the dogged pursuit of what now seems like a "sudden" success story? 

There is nothing sudden about it.  Success is measured by hard work and diligence. 

Happiness

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”

― Dalai Lama

Our Constitution notwithstanding, happiness is not a right; rather, it is a state of mind.  In fact, happiness takes many forms.  And rarely do these forms include a state of giddiness, drinking, or silly irresponsibility.  The happiest, most meaningful events are those that require some toil, some accomplishment, completing a difficult or onerous task, or achieving an important goal.  You cannot chase happiness; you cannot find it in a bottle or food or even another person.  Happiness occurs as a natural extension of extending yourself, giving of yourself, working for it.  It is not the winning of a million dollars that provides satisfaction - it is attaining it through merit.  You've heard it said that money doesn't buy happiness (though it helps render life more livable), because the feeling of happiness is a result of an effort that we make.

Daily Stretching Routine

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”

― Albert Einstein 

How many times have you failed? Have you tried your hand at painting a landscape? Have tried to sing in public?  Have you tried to build a tree house for your child? How about reading the instructions and putting together a gas grill? Have you ever prepared a romantic dinner for your spouse, only to burn the roast? Have you ever tried to sew a dress, only to discover it was not measured properly, and you've wasted the fabric?   Have you succeeded at all these endeavors? If so, congratulations.  If not, what have you done? Did you take your marbles and go home at the first obstacle? Did you tear your hair out in frustration? Did you resolve to never try that one again?  If so, you're not alone.  The tendency is to give up after the first try.  The first discouraging word, the first suggestion that we may not have exactly what it takes to achieve our goal throws us back into the inertia of doing nothing, trying nothing, persisting at nothing.  If you try something new, but don't succeed to your satisfaction; if you encounter negativity and discouragement, you are giving power to those who would not support your efforts.  After all, what's wrong with trying again - and again and again - to be an accomplished public speaker? Why not try again and again to lose that extra weight? 

The measure of a man is not his successes, but his ongoing perseverance even in the face of failure - or what some would consider failure.

Discipline

 “If we do not discipline ourselves the world will do it for us.”

― William Feather

It is indeed easy to be permissive, and let our children grow at their speed, allow them to "find themselves," discover their place in society, their role among their peers.  We want to be their friends.  We want them to accept us as their equal.  We want to foster good communication with our children, but unfortunately, what often happens is that we accept their level of casual, peer-approved talk, and by so doing, encourage it.  Instead of "raising" our children, we become their complicitors, their enablers.  We don't dare stand up to them out of fear of alienating them.  We don't dare enforce the rules at home for fear of turning them off, or having them rebel.  So we stand by meekly, watching them struggle with hormones and peer pressure, acquiescing to their demands, floundering under their tantrums, or smiling benignly at the inevitability of poor behavior.  TV shows abound with rude behavior.  We take it all in stride, and there's the rub.

Children don't grow themselves.  Like a sapling that will grow in the direction of the strongest wind, so will our children. 

The Overnight Success

 “There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.”

― Colin Powell

I have often found myself envious of the overnight success.  You know the kind - the young actor who comes on the scene suddenly and is awash in camera lights and trophies; or the writer who writes an runaway international bestseller; or the painter who garners accolades for a few well-placed scribbles on the canvas.  What is missing in this envy is a reality check.  Frequently, the so-called "overnight" success has come about after years of hard work and toil; exasperating hours at the piano; thousands of dollars in training fees; blistered toes and aching joints.  In fact, some of these overnight successes are not successful until after their deaths, having spent their lives in poverty and hunger.  Think Beethoven, van Gogh, Mozart, who lived their lives in misery.  Think of Lincoln whose life was a series of business failures and depression.  Think of Edison, who experimented a thousand times before succeeding at the light bulb.

There are no secrets to success.  Plenty of "how-to" books professing to have such secrets, but at their core, the message is always the same: Define your goal, get the tools, learn the trade, then practice, practice, practice, and don't give up.

People Pleasing

“I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

― Bill Cosby

The implication in the above quote - supported by the popular psychobabble - is that one should not strive to be a people pleaser.  Clearly, because of differing personalities and expectations, it is impossible to please everybody.  The introvert will be displeased by the extrovert's efforts; the chubby may be displeased by the efforts of the skinny to show him or her "the way"; Democrats will be displeased by Republicans' ideologies, and so on.  Trying to please all those diverging sensibilities can only result in a scattering of one's efforts and talents.  Therefore, pleasing oneself is the only way to be. 

Rather than being a self-centered attitude, pleasing oneself means being authentic.  It is not an invitation to be selfish or rude.  Rather, it is a recognition of one's own true self.  And it is only through one's true self that one can communicate with the world in a true, authentic, sincere manner.

Success and Failure

"Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. It is courage that counts." - Winston Churchill

Success is an illusive thing.  You may struggle and sweat at a project, only to fail.  Character is marked by the courage to persevere in the face of ostensible failure. 

But what happens if you should succeed? Is victory assured forever? Is effort no longer needed? Can you now rest upon your laurels, secure in your triumph? No.  Now is the true test of your mettle - what you do with your success.  Do you go to the beach, or find the next boulder to push up the mountain? Either one -- success or failure -- is a lifelong endeavor, simply approached from different perspectives.

Consider, too, that if you surmount all your difficulties and succeed time and time again, you're not stretching enough!

Try and Try Again

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.”

― Mark Twain

This quote from the celebrated humorist, is indeed comical when taken at face value.  But have you considered that if you try - and fail - that does not indicate the measure of a man (or woman)?  The virtue is in the trying, not in the ultimate success.  The trying (to quit smoking or overeating or whatever) implies several things: (a) that you recognize that something is amiss; (b) that you wish to follow a different path, a healthier path; (c) that you are ready to make an effort.  Trying is a high-level condition.  Celebrate it; embrace it; accept it; include it - it is part of who you are, a testament to your ambition to change into a better human being.  If you ever doubt it, consider the untiring efforts made by the likes of Edison and Lincoln.

Don't ever quit.  Keep trying!

You Make a Difference!

“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” ― William James 

 William James is known as the Father of Psychology.  The quote above is not simply a cute affirmation to repeat as a mantra while sitting cross-legged and trying to contemplate one's existence.  The above quote is, indeed, quite profound.  

Consider that if you raise your index finger, the air molecules around your finger shift.  You can't see the air moving, but in fact, it is.  And when the air moves around your finger, it necessarily shifts everywhere.  Everywhere.  

Now consider something more momentous than simply raising your finger and moving air molecules.  Do you doubt for an instant that the people around you are influenced by what you do and say? The people around you are your family, friends, colleagues, even strangers on the street and in the next car.  Everyone and everything around you is influenced by what you do and say, as you are influenced by everyone else.  The question is, is that influence for the good or evil? 

You make a difference!